Bert Kreischer’s keeping it 100, spilling the tea on his one trip that totally soured him — Fiji, which, for some bizarre reason, he claims is just a glorified Arizona in disguise.

Yup, you heard that right. The comedian spilled the beans on “Drop A Pin Podcast,” saying the one place he’ll never go back to is Fiji. Why? Because it felt more like a trip to the southwest U.S. than a tropical South Pacific escape!

When someone pointed out that Arizona’s, well, a land-locked desert — especially compared to Fiji’s crystal blue waters — Bert didn’t skip a beat, firing back that it was actually the dry terrain that gave him those arid AZ vibes.

Sure, everyone’s got their vacation letdowns — but we’re still struggling to connect the dots between Fiji and Arizona living … especially with many firing back, saying Bert’s totally off and some are convinced he’s getting confused with another spot.

So, what’s your take on this tropical misfire?