Dad Clashes with Ex as She Insists Their Kids Need to Spend Father’s Day with Her New Husband Despite Custody Agreement

A man turns to Reddit for support after a heated disagreement with his ex over how their children should spend Father’s Day. 

He shares in his post that he and his ex, who were never married, share 50-50 custody of their two kids, ages 11 and 9, and that their arrangement has always been clear: “My ex always got Mother’s Day while I always got Father’s Day. That’s written into our court order and this has never been challenged before.”

Four years ago, his ex married a man named Nick, and the blended family has since grown with a child together and another on the way.

Now, the man explains that his “ex and Nick want the kids to be with them on Father’s Day and to celebrate the day with Nick specifically.”

He points out that the occasion is being turned into a larger gathering, as his “ex’s whole family and Nick’s whole family are getting together and they’re turning it into a family day.”

His ex argues that this makes it even more important for the kids to be there, but she also has another motive. “She has also stated she feels as though they mistreat Nick and this would be my way of saying it needs to stop,” he writes.

The reason for this tension, he explains, is that “the kids don’t like him and on family trees or family drawings they never included him.”

He reveals that his children “don’t call to wish [Nick] a Happy Father’s Day and they choose to ask me to do fatherly events with them instead of Nick, including on my ex’s time.”

However, he notes that this isn’t a one-sided issue, adding, “This also happens when a motherly event comes up and I have the kids. They ask their mom to go.”

The relationship between the man and Nick is strained, with accusations of jealousy fueling the conflict. “Nick and I have some tension because he gets jealous when the kids’ attention is on me when we all show up to support the kids,” the poster explains.

Nick, however, feels he does “an equal amount of dad work to me so he should be equally loved and appreciated.”

The situation has escalated, with Nick lashing out multiple times. “Five times now he has accused me of hogging the kids,” the man shares. Nick has also “wrongly accused me of several things from removing him from the emergency contact list at school… to saying I demanded the kids be returned to me when my ex worked late by a couple of hours and the kids were with him.”

The children themselves have voiced their discomfort with Nick. “My kids say he’s grumpy and bossy and that he doesn’t like me. They picked up on it years ago,” the father writes.

Concerned for their well-being, he put them in therapy, but even that step led to more conflict. “When all three adults (me, ex and her husband) met with one of the therapists to discuss things, it worsened things between Nick and myself,” he explains.

As Father’s Day approaches, the man’s ex is relentless in her requests to swap the holiday. “Ex has used our co-parenting app to really push this Father’s Day swap and she is not accepting no for an answer,” he says, noting, “I get notifications up to 10 times a day as we get closer to Father’s Day.”

The father is clear about his own feelings and those of his children. “My kids don’t want to go. I don’t want to miss Father’s Day with them or cancel our plans,” he explains. He also reflects on his own role in the situation, saying, “I know I don’t exactly encourage them to like Nick. I never discourage it either, but I have let them feel how they feel.”

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Still, he acknowledges the potential benefits of the children spending time with their mom’s side of the family, admitting, “I know this is a chance for them to spend time with their mom’s side who they don’t see that often.”

Regardless, he remains conflicted, turning to Reddit for advice.