NEED TO KNOW
- A 26-year-old woman says her boyfriend has been “cut off” by his family after he chose to move in with her — and she’s now unsure if she wants to be with him
- She says he moved in with her and her daughter after several months of dating, and she now feels “constantly overwhelmed”
- The woman sought advice on a popular community forum, where a number of people told her she needs to end the relationship
A woman says that her boyfriend has been “cut off” by his family for his decision to move in with her — but now she’s not even sure she wants to be with him.
The 26-year-old detailed her experience on a forum on the U.K.-based community site Mumsnet.com, a platform where women can seek advice from other women about interpersonal dilemmas. In her post, the woman says that she is in a “fairly new relationship” with a 22-year-old man she’s known online for “years.”
The woman explains that they only met in person in late 2024, but things “progressed quickly” after that. She says he recently moved out of his mom’s home to move in with her and her eight-year-old daughter — a decision that led to him being “cut off” by his family due to cultural reasons.
The problem? The woman says she is feeling overextended and is now having second thoughts about whether or not living together was the right move.
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“I keep having thoughts like, ‘Should he really live here?’ and ‘Am I better off alone so I can focus on myself and my child?’ ” she confesses in the post.
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“I love him, but I’m also constantly overwhelmed,” she continues, before adding that her daughter has special needs and the majority of the mental load of maintaining the household falls on her.
“I’m mentally and physically burned out, trying to hold everything together. I feel like I never get proper alone time or space to reset,” the original poster (OP) says, adding, “I’m often irritated around him for no clear reason, even if he’s not doing anything wrong.”
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“I don’t want to lose him, but I feel disconnected, and I don’t know how to tell what’s burnout vs. what’s a sign that this isn’t working,” she says, while also saying that they both have “trust issues” due to “things that happened between us before.”
“Has anyone else been in this in-between place — loving someone, but not sure if being together is helping or hurting right now? How do you figure out what you actually need when everything feels too full to think clearly?” she asks at the end of her post.
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The vast majority of commenters provided tough love to the OP, with many stating that they believe she moved in with her boyfriend much too soon — and that she should course-correct as soon as possible.
“You shouldn’t be moving someone you barely know in with your [daughter]. Even if your child wasn’t in the picture, though, it’s a new relationship. You have enough on your plate. Ask him to leave,” said one person.
“Oh, you have gone about this completely the wrong way, I’m afraid,” said someone else. “Your relationship has alienated him from his family, which is going to put immense pressure on you both.”
They added, “I think you should tell him that he needs to go back [to] his family and end the relationship with you.”
“It’s a ludicrously unwise decision to move in a man you hardly know with your young daughter. This is not the behavior of a mature parent making good decisions for her child,” said someone else.
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